Random Jokes

A plane is en route to Hawaii when a blond woman in coach gets up and takes a first class seat. The stewardess explains to her that she did not pay for a first class ticket, she must remain in coach. The blond haughtily replies, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Hawaii, and I’m going first class.”

The stewardess is taken aback, and gets the head stewardess who explains the same thing. She must get up and go back to her seat in coach. The woman arrogantly repeats her line, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Hawaii, and I’m going first class.”

The head stewardess approaches the captain’s cabin to see if they have any ideas. Upon hearing the story, the captain smiles and says, “My wife is blond. I got this. Co-pilot, take the controls, I’ll be right back.”

The captain walks back to the woman, leans down, and whispers something in her ear. Instantly the woman jumps up and returns to her seat in coach. Amazed, the stewardesses and co-pilot ask him what he said to the woman.

“Oh,” the captain smiles, “I just told her the first class cabin wasn’t going to Hawaii.”

– Why can’t blondes make ice cubes?
– They always forget the recipe.

– How do you drown a blonde?
– Put a scratch ‘n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

– What is the fastest way to get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
– Wave at her.

– What’s the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
– Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.

– Why did the blonde take more than one pregnancy test?
– Because she slept with more than one guy.

– What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?
– You always hear about them but you never see them.

– Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
– Cause you have to hollow out it’s head!

– What’s the difference between a blonde and a 747?
– Not everyone has been in a 747.

– What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
– Run like hell – she’s got a grenade in her mouth!

– Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
– Because she was trying to make up her mind.